As I am not at all patiently waiting on the arrival of our daughter (4 days past due), I thought maybe I should take a step back and document how we got here.
We tried to conceive as naturally as possible for over two years. I was worried before we even started trying because I had been told several times that I had fibroids, but it wasn't a big deal until now. So to try to start off on the right foot we wanted to get that checks out first since it had been several years since my last update. I dreaded that appointment so much! I thought that they would just say nope no way you can get pregnant and slam the door in my face. I got there ridiculously early and had a good breakdown in the parking lot, but I was able to give it over to the Lord and I felt so much better walking in to the appointment. Then I go in for the ultrasound and they woman says, "So what are we here for?" I said, " Well we are getting ready to start trying for a baby and I have had fibroids in the past so we wanted to check on that." She said, " Well if you had them then you still do because they don't just go away." ... Thanks for the incredible bed side manner, lady! I nearly melted into a puddle of tears and then she starts the ultrasound. NO FIBROIDS!!! Well they don't just go away usually, but my God can do all things! I felt like this was part 1 of our miracle journey and I should be pregnant within days!
To my dismay I did not get pregnant that month or the next month or the next month. The doctors said that it's not any concern until it's been at least a year. So after a year I ended up going to a new practice that I researched because one of their doctors did a lot of work with holistic and natural approaches to infertility. We started off with testing for Jake and myself and everything came back clear for both of us which was great, but also frustrating. It meant that there wasn't a set do this and then you will get pregnant which just continued to push me to give the plan to God. So I started off with some vitamin supplements and trying to eat healthier and limit dairy. I also started charting to try to pinpoint when and if I was ovulating. Then after three more months I took my meticulous color coded shares back to the doctor. Continuing with the pattern of how things had been going my charts were inconclusive maybe I was ovulating maybe I wasn't. So next steps I tried to completely eliminate dairy from my diet and I started going to a chiropractor and getting accupuncture.
In the beginning I was nervous about getting my back cracked and getting needles stabbed in me. After the first appointment I was hooked on both. God had sent me the perfect Doctors! Both of these ladies were completely on board with my mission to get pregnant, but both admitted that they knew that they had no real control of the situation because it would be up to God. I loved them! Honestly it helped me to de-stress just being able to go talk to them each once a week and afterwards I was able to take the most restful naps during my treatments. It helped me to make it through a very difficult year, again God knew what I would stand in need of and had already put a plan in place.
I continued on with all of this for about 9 more months. Off and on through all of this God kept working in my heart. It kept rolling with me that I needed to know it would be okay if I didn't get pregnant. I wasn't ready to give up trying yet and I didn't think He was telling me to. First it was adoption, I have always thought I would like to adopt at some point. It didn't seem like God was saying it was time for that yet either. What I really struggled with was the idea that I would not have children at all, I would not be a mother. Through several bible studies and a wonderful hook that I was reading I came across scripture that healed my heart. God spoke if a woman that was barren on Earth, but in heaven she had so many children that they had to make her tent bigger and bigger to hold them all. These were her spiritual children all of those that she had loved, cared for, and prayed for on Earth. That was my answer, that was how I could be a mother no matter what. I would just do my best to love, care, and pray for all of the children that God brought into to my life. I felt at peace, but still didn't feel like He was telling us to give up on trying to get pregnant.
Another year had passed at this point so I went back to the doctor. This time I asked what would be the next option thinking that it would jump immediately to IVF (no offense to those that have had miracle babies with the help of IUI or IVF, but I was not ready for that yet). She laid it out for me and there were several options we could try before we got there. She prescribed a medicine, but told me depending on insurance it may be expensive and if it was too much there was an alternative. I dropped off the prescription, but then I started researching and got myself good and worried about every side effect it had to offer. I went to pick it up from the pharmacy half hoping that it would be too expensive to even consider. I told the pharmasict that I wanted to check the price because I wasn't sure about the drug...it was less than ten dollars. So I picked it up still not certain I would take it. Thankfully you had to start at a certain point in your cycle and I had missed the window so I had until the next go round to decide if I was going to take it. Low and behold before I could start it the next cycle I got my first ever positive pregnancy test!
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